My Priest Is A Lesbian
I went to church this morning for the first time in God knows how long since Katrina. As part of my spiritual rebuilding efforts I attended service at the local Episcopal church, unsure of what kind of experience I'd have. I wasn't surprised when I found that most of the congregation is over 60 & white (this is small town IA). I wasn't really surprised to see that the priest is female (Episcopalians are open-minded), but I did note her short hairstyle & priestly status, & immediately thought, "Oh, she's a lesbian." Even though my gaydar was going off, I decided not to jump to conclusions. Instead, I did a ring finger check. "She could just be an older woman who prefers short hair," I thought to myself. When I saw the gleam of a wedding band on her left ring finger, I figured she was married.
I took in the service & enjoyed participating in the rituals that were nearly identical to those I'd followed while I was growing up in my predominately black, high holy Episcopal church in FL. It was nice to be in a church where I knew what was coming next, even if it wasn't the church I'd fallen in love with in New Orleans. I found comfort in the familiar and decided to not let the absence of the holy spirit from the sermon sadden me. I did tear up when it came time for communion. I was pining for Franklin (where I'd first started my relationship with God almost 5 years ago) as I was quickly reminded of the devastation it had suffered due to Katrina last year. There was a bright spot when the woman in the pew in front of me pointed out the hymn I couldn't find and later said, "I missed your beautiful voice on that last one. It moves me to hear the gift that God gave you!" If she could only hear me in the shower...
After the service, I was invited to fellowship (coffee & sweet things, in typical Episcopal fashion) by many members of the congregation. I accepted since during "the Peace" Shorty had already been targeted by the church Boy Scout troop leader as a potential new member. On the way out of the sanctuary, the pianist approached and introduced himself. "Hi! I'm Bob Duval! I'm on the welcoming committee for pretty women!" I smiled & laughed at the 86 year old man's pickup line. "Pretty good!" I thought to myself (he needs to school some of these young ones).
While I was chatting with the Boy Scout troop leader over cookies & juice in the parish hall, I was interrupted by another short haired woman. "Hi! I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm the priest's partner!" Note to self: trust your instincts, go with your first mind, & for God's sake stop second guessing yourself when you're gaydar goes off! After a few minutes of small talk, she made her way to another table and I continued making plans for Shorty to go to his first Boy Scout meeting on Tuesday. Once I got home, my prayer partner called for our Sunday afternoon chat.
"So, did you enjoy your Catholic service?" she inquired.
"It was Episcopalian, not Catholic," I corrected.
"What's the difference?" she inquired.
"Well, Episcopalian is like Catholic without all the guilt," I said. She laughed and asked me to elaborate. "Well, it's Catholic light. I'll give you a perfect example. First of all, my priest is a woman, which you certainly won't see in a Catholic church and was at first a point of contention for us Episcopalians, but we're an open-minded church, so we got over it pretty quickly," I flatly said. Then I added, "But my priest isn't just a woman, she's a lesbian." My ever-so-Baptist prayer partner was taken aback.
"Are you going to go back?" she inquired. "Of course," I said. "I don't understand it, but I'm not going to let it stop me from getting back into my relationship with God." I then proceeded to spell out how random my participation in this church will be. I'm a young, single, black mother from the south and I'm joining a predominantly older, white, Episcopal church in the midwest...and my priest is a lesbian.
I genuinely believe that there comes a time in our relationship with God that we are required to demonstrate how much we want to be close to Him. I believe that He sent Katrina to clearly define for me the purpose of my experience in Italy (when I learned of intimacy without sex for the first time) and why He allowed Katrina to wash away my first true spiritual home when He destroyed Franklin last year. He wants me to want Him, and He wants me to feel comfortable with Him no matter what my surroundings are, and He wants me to know Him without the distractions of this world.
With that, I've decided to join a church where I'll be more than just the red-headed step-child who sticks out like a sore thumb. And I've chosen to follow an interim leader who's living a life I don't understand...especially since she's doing it in a church of conventional people, while living an unconventional life. If that doesn't sound like who I am as I child of God, then I don't know what does...I just want to get back to The Love I imagined when I was young & innocent.
I took in the service & enjoyed participating in the rituals that were nearly identical to those I'd followed while I was growing up in my predominately black, high holy Episcopal church in FL. It was nice to be in a church where I knew what was coming next, even if it wasn't the church I'd fallen in love with in New Orleans. I found comfort in the familiar and decided to not let the absence of the holy spirit from the sermon sadden me. I did tear up when it came time for communion. I was pining for Franklin (where I'd first started my relationship with God almost 5 years ago) as I was quickly reminded of the devastation it had suffered due to Katrina last year. There was a bright spot when the woman in the pew in front of me pointed out the hymn I couldn't find and later said, "I missed your beautiful voice on that last one. It moves me to hear the gift that God gave you!" If she could only hear me in the shower...
After the service, I was invited to fellowship (coffee & sweet things, in typical Episcopal fashion) by many members of the congregation. I accepted since during "the Peace" Shorty had already been targeted by the church Boy Scout troop leader as a potential new member. On the way out of the sanctuary, the pianist approached and introduced himself. "Hi! I'm Bob Duval! I'm on the welcoming committee for pretty women!" I smiled & laughed at the 86 year old man's pickup line. "Pretty good!" I thought to myself (he needs to school some of these young ones).
While I was chatting with the Boy Scout troop leader over cookies & juice in the parish hall, I was interrupted by another short haired woman. "Hi! I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm the priest's partner!" Note to self: trust your instincts, go with your first mind, & for God's sake stop second guessing yourself when you're gaydar goes off! After a few minutes of small talk, she made her way to another table and I continued making plans for Shorty to go to his first Boy Scout meeting on Tuesday. Once I got home, my prayer partner called for our Sunday afternoon chat.
"So, did you enjoy your Catholic service?" she inquired.
"It was Episcopalian, not Catholic," I corrected.
"What's the difference?" she inquired.
"Well, Episcopalian is like Catholic without all the guilt," I said. She laughed and asked me to elaborate. "Well, it's Catholic light. I'll give you a perfect example. First of all, my priest is a woman, which you certainly won't see in a Catholic church and was at first a point of contention for us Episcopalians, but we're an open-minded church, so we got over it pretty quickly," I flatly said. Then I added, "But my priest isn't just a woman, she's a lesbian." My ever-so-Baptist prayer partner was taken aback.
"Are you going to go back?" she inquired. "Of course," I said. "I don't understand it, but I'm not going to let it stop me from getting back into my relationship with God." I then proceeded to spell out how random my participation in this church will be. I'm a young, single, black mother from the south and I'm joining a predominantly older, white, Episcopal church in the midwest...and my priest is a lesbian.
I genuinely believe that there comes a time in our relationship with God that we are required to demonstrate how much we want to be close to Him. I believe that He sent Katrina to clearly define for me the purpose of my experience in Italy (when I learned of intimacy without sex for the first time) and why He allowed Katrina to wash away my first true spiritual home when He destroyed Franklin last year. He wants me to want Him, and He wants me to feel comfortable with Him no matter what my surroundings are, and He wants me to know Him without the distractions of this world.
With that, I've decided to join a church where I'll be more than just the red-headed step-child who sticks out like a sore thumb. And I've chosen to follow an interim leader who's living a life I don't understand...especially since she's doing it in a church of conventional people, while living an unconventional life. If that doesn't sound like who I am as I child of God, then I don't know what does...I just want to get back to The Love I imagined when I was young & innocent.
posted by N'j at 5:08 PM
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