Mother's Day For The Single Mom
Since it's Labor Day, I slept in (I got up at 8) and decided to spend my day off doing what any good, newly relocated anal retentive professional would...I've been organizing. I spent a better part of the morning getting my finances up to date, which included estimating my taxes for 2005 (thank God the IRS gave LA residents affected by Katrina yet another extension to file...10.16.2006! Woo Hoo!) It's a good thing I did because whatever 2006 tax benefit I'll get for relocating this year will just barely cover my unplanned tax debt for 2005 due to Shorty's absence. So much for extra money!
I also made good headway clearing out papers I don't need, updating files, organizing things (what the heck is this?), and trashing things that do nothing but take up necessary space with unnecessary memories. I can finally see carpet in the corner of my office loft! I also have a stack of mail I need to drop in the snail mail box such that in the event of my death, my family have copies of all the paperwork documenting that my ex-husband can't touch a penny of my net worth after I'm dead & gone (thank God & 1st National Bank for a revocable trust!). Control freak that I am, it also documents that Shorty doesn't get a penny (outside living expenses) until he's 25...and doesn't get the rest until he's 40. I've planned for both ends of his potential Labor scale, with me at one end & his father at the other.
Scenario #1: If I died today & Shorty does everything he's supposed to do (i.e. study well, get a full scholarship to college, & graduate with his master's by the time he's 25 [debt free, mind you]), he'll have 25% of his trust to make a hefty down payment on his 1st home. If he continues to do what he's supposed to do, he'll get the other 75% of his trust when he's 40...and likely be able to retire and live a very comfortable life.
Scenario #2: If my ex-husband's financial genes are stronger than mine & Shorty doesn't do as he should, he'll have a nice chunk of change to get him out of whatever woman's home he's living in when he turns 40. He'll have enough to either start being a real man or blow it all in a very short period of time while he blames his parents' for everything that's wrong in his life at the time. I'm not a betting woman, but my money is on scenario #1.
I've worked most of my life to ensure a secure financial future for my son, taking in as many positive experiences that I can along the way. I've sacrificed hair appointments, manicures, pedicures, new clothes, trips home, time with him & time for rest (in the form of working a second job...btw, there's a reason they call it "work"), and even resorted to Ramen noodles for dinner over the years to give him the best I've got to give. I can rest assured that if I continue on the path I'm on or die tonight, Shorty will have what he needs. And that is what motherhood looks like. Labor day is just another version of mother's day for the single mom.
I also made good headway clearing out papers I don't need, updating files, organizing things (what the heck is this?), and trashing things that do nothing but take up necessary space with unnecessary memories. I can finally see carpet in the corner of my office loft! I also have a stack of mail I need to drop in the snail mail box such that in the event of my death, my family have copies of all the paperwork documenting that my ex-husband can't touch a penny of my net worth after I'm dead & gone (thank God & 1st National Bank for a revocable trust!). Control freak that I am, it also documents that Shorty doesn't get a penny (outside living expenses) until he's 25...and doesn't get the rest until he's 40. I've planned for both ends of his potential Labor scale, with me at one end & his father at the other.
Scenario #1: If I died today & Shorty does everything he's supposed to do (i.e. study well, get a full scholarship to college, & graduate with his master's by the time he's 25 [debt free, mind you]), he'll have 25% of his trust to make a hefty down payment on his 1st home. If he continues to do what he's supposed to do, he'll get the other 75% of his trust when he's 40...and likely be able to retire and live a very comfortable life.
Scenario #2: If my ex-husband's financial genes are stronger than mine & Shorty doesn't do as he should, he'll have a nice chunk of change to get him out of whatever woman's home he's living in when he turns 40. He'll have enough to either start being a real man or blow it all in a very short period of time while he blames his parents' for everything that's wrong in his life at the time. I'm not a betting woman, but my money is on scenario #1.
I've worked most of my life to ensure a secure financial future for my son, taking in as many positive experiences that I can along the way. I've sacrificed hair appointments, manicures, pedicures, new clothes, trips home, time with him & time for rest (in the form of working a second job...btw, there's a reason they call it "work"), and even resorted to Ramen noodles for dinner over the years to give him the best I've got to give. I can rest assured that if I continue on the path I'm on or die tonight, Shorty will have what he needs. And that is what motherhood looks like. Labor day is just another version of mother's day for the single mom.
posted by N'j at 3:47 PM
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