Soul Ties
Last night Shorty went to the first middle school dance of the school year...and I volunteered as a chapperone. On the way there a radio commercial came on with two girls talking about dating.
Girl 1: So, how'd your date with that hot guy go?
Girl 2: It was great! He's really nice, but he wants me to go all the way.
Girl 1: I know he's hot and all, but are you ready for that?
Girl 2: He says that if I love him I'll do it.
Girl 1: And if he loves you he'll wait until you're ready.
Girl 2: You're right. I'm going to wait until I'm ready.
Girl 1: Just remember, don't let a hot date turn into a due date.
Shorty immediately asked me, "Mommy, what's a due date?"
Considering we were on our way to a middle school dance where raging hormones would flow freely, I thought it a perfect opportunity to have another talk about sex.
"A due date is when a woman is pregnant and the baby is due to be born. That's the baby's due date," I comfortably said. He then mentioned something about not wanting to catch anything by having sex (referring to a conversation we had a few years ago when he asked what a condom was and I told him & then educated him about STDs including visual aids curtesy of the internet. I then followed with the more important part of the conversation.
"Choosing to not have sex is about more than not wanting to catch something or get a girl pregnant. It's about soul ties. Do you know what a soul tie is?" I asked Shorty.
"No," he innocently replied.
"Well, when you have sex with someone you create a soul tie. You know how you really, really, really, really, really love me?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied.
"And you know how you really, really, really, really, really love daddy?" I inquired.
"Yes," he replied.
"Well, that's because when your dad and I had sex and created you with God we solidified a soul tie. And even if you hadn't been born, because your dad and I had sex, that soul tie would've been created forever. You are just a flesh and blood result of the soul tie your dad and I created by having sex. When you have sex with someone you're creating a soul tie, whether a baby is created or not. And when you have sex with that person you create a soul tie to them, and everyone they've had sex with. You know how when you fly a kite there's a string that ties it to the spool?" I asked.
"Uh huh," Shorty replied.
"Well, you want your soul to be tied to God like that string is tied to the spool. And when you have sex with someone, you want it to be with someone who's string is also tied to God. If you have sex with someone who's had sex with other people, you have sex with everyone they've had sex with, so you're tying your string to everyone they've been with. You want to tether your string to God. Do you know what tether means?" I asked.
"No," he honestly replied.
"Tether means to tie, so you want your string tied to God and you want to wait to have sex with a girl who's also tied to God and hasn't had sex with a lot of people, that way you have a Godly spiritual relationship." I was lost for words and paused for a minute.
"So it's like being in a three legged race?" Shorty blurted.
"Yes!" I replied.
"It is like a three-legged race, and when you choose to have sex with someone, you're getting into either a three-legged race, a five-legged race, and sometimes it could be a 13 or more legged race. That's why you want to carefully choose who you have sex with and get to know their character first so you can make a good choice. If you don't, you could choose to have sex with someone who slows you down from getting to where God intends for you to be."
"Ok," he said.
We arrived at the Y and I endured the 425 screaming middle school children as they enjoyed loudly played current pop music. As I meandered through the rooms at the Y during the dance I noticed a black girl I'd seen at his school during orientation last year and again last week. She was with a group of other fast @$$ girls. They're to me clearly from (what I'd consider) the IA projects...just in my limited experience. She's pretty (to an extent) but she's missing class and breeding. I hope Shorty doesn't get close enough to her to create any soul ties.
Girl 1: So, how'd your date with that hot guy go?
Girl 2: It was great! He's really nice, but he wants me to go all the way.
Girl 1: I know he's hot and all, but are you ready for that?
Girl 2: He says that if I love him I'll do it.
Girl 1: And if he loves you he'll wait until you're ready.
Girl 2: You're right. I'm going to wait until I'm ready.
Girl 1: Just remember, don't let a hot date turn into a due date.
Shorty immediately asked me, "Mommy, what's a due date?"
Considering we were on our way to a middle school dance where raging hormones would flow freely, I thought it a perfect opportunity to have another talk about sex.
"A due date is when a woman is pregnant and the baby is due to be born. That's the baby's due date," I comfortably said. He then mentioned something about not wanting to catch anything by having sex (referring to a conversation we had a few years ago when he asked what a condom was and I told him & then educated him about STDs including visual aids curtesy of the internet. I then followed with the more important part of the conversation.
"Choosing to not have sex is about more than not wanting to catch something or get a girl pregnant. It's about soul ties. Do you know what a soul tie is?" I asked Shorty.
"No," he innocently replied.
"Well, when you have sex with someone you create a soul tie. You know how you really, really, really, really, really love me?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied.
"And you know how you really, really, really, really, really love daddy?" I inquired.
"Yes," he replied.
"Well, that's because when your dad and I had sex and created you with God we solidified a soul tie. And even if you hadn't been born, because your dad and I had sex, that soul tie would've been created forever. You are just a flesh and blood result of the soul tie your dad and I created by having sex. When you have sex with someone you're creating a soul tie, whether a baby is created or not. And when you have sex with that person you create a soul tie to them, and everyone they've had sex with. You know how when you fly a kite there's a string that ties it to the spool?" I asked.
"Uh huh," Shorty replied.
"Well, you want your soul to be tied to God like that string is tied to the spool. And when you have sex with someone, you want it to be with someone who's string is also tied to God. If you have sex with someone who's had sex with other people, you have sex with everyone they've had sex with, so you're tying your string to everyone they've been with. You want to tether your string to God. Do you know what tether means?" I asked.
"No," he honestly replied.
"Tether means to tie, so you want your string tied to God and you want to wait to have sex with a girl who's also tied to God and hasn't had sex with a lot of people, that way you have a Godly spiritual relationship." I was lost for words and paused for a minute.
"So it's like being in a three legged race?" Shorty blurted.
"Yes!" I replied.
"It is like a three-legged race, and when you choose to have sex with someone, you're getting into either a three-legged race, a five-legged race, and sometimes it could be a 13 or more legged race. That's why you want to carefully choose who you have sex with and get to know their character first so you can make a good choice. If you don't, you could choose to have sex with someone who slows you down from getting to where God intends for you to be."
"Ok," he said.
We arrived at the Y and I endured the 425 screaming middle school children as they enjoyed loudly played current pop music. As I meandered through the rooms at the Y during the dance I noticed a black girl I'd seen at his school during orientation last year and again last week. She was with a group of other fast @$$ girls. They're to me clearly from (what I'd consider) the IA projects...just in my limited experience. She's pretty (to an extent) but she's missing class and breeding. I hope Shorty doesn't get close enough to her to create any soul ties.
posted by N'j at 10:58 AM
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