My First Job
At our staff meeting today, my boss announced that corporate is investing $1M in debottlenecking the Louisiana facility at which I used to work, and that they're looking for engineers to work on the project for the next 5 months. Travel (ooooh! my favorite word) would mostly be to corporate, but also to NO where the facility is located. She made it clear that the project would likely lead to a multi-million dollar, high profile environmental initiative. I gasped when I thought of the opportunity (free business travel to STL & NO!).
Later, my colleagues asked if I was taking the job. "It's just not the right time for me, but it would be a great opportunity for you," I said to my brother Scott. "You'd get to work with several other engineers in the company, learn about deepwells, travel to the heart of the chemicals part of the business. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!" He declined in light of Buffy's recent decrease in antidepressants & start back to work next week (she's a first grade teacher...eeeek!).
"You're not going to take it?" they asked me. "It's just not the right time for me," I said without really thinking. "With Shorty coming home, we're going to be busy with school, football, middle school dances and the like. I just don't think it would be good for me to bring him back now after having been sent away so suddenly six months ago, just to leave him for weeks at a time while I'm off on business trips out of state. Shorty's just more important."
None of this really registered in my mind until I talked to TRS this evening. I could tell he was tired by the tone of his voice at the end of his 11 hour day. I too was virtually exhausted since I didn't really sleep after my "cards on the table" conversation last night. When he asked me how my day was and if it was why I was tired, I somehow came upon the offer during my rambling. Then it hit me.
"I can't believe I turned it down!" I said with a strange cousin to surprise in my own voice. "Well, not that I can't believe I turned it down, but I've never actually had to choose between something so huge and my child before. I can't believe I just demonstrated how family oriented I am," I said as much to him as I did to myself. "You're going to be pondering this all night, aren't you?" he asked. "No. I know it's the right decision, I guess I'm just taken aback at myself. I've always been ambitious and said my child comes first, but I just made the decision without thinking about it. It didn't even occur to me what I did until just now while talking to you!" I said in amazement.
I know it's the right choice. I look forward to Shorty coming home, and I don't feel I'll be missing out on anything that could possibly matter more than me demonstrating to my son how important he is to me. My career ambitions are important, but they'll always be a means to an end. My first job is as my child's mother. My career as an engineer allows me to support my child as part of my first job. I've always believed that the people from my second job won't necessarily be at my funeral when I die, but if I do my first job right my son will.
Later, my colleagues asked if I was taking the job. "It's just not the right time for me, but it would be a great opportunity for you," I said to my brother Scott. "You'd get to work with several other engineers in the company, learn about deepwells, travel to the heart of the chemicals part of the business. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity!" He declined in light of Buffy's recent decrease in antidepressants & start back to work next week (she's a first grade teacher...eeeek!).
"You're not going to take it?" they asked me. "It's just not the right time for me," I said without really thinking. "With Shorty coming home, we're going to be busy with school, football, middle school dances and the like. I just don't think it would be good for me to bring him back now after having been sent away so suddenly six months ago, just to leave him for weeks at a time while I'm off on business trips out of state. Shorty's just more important."
None of this really registered in my mind until I talked to TRS this evening. I could tell he was tired by the tone of his voice at the end of his 11 hour day. I too was virtually exhausted since I didn't really sleep after my "cards on the table" conversation last night. When he asked me how my day was and if it was why I was tired, I somehow came upon the offer during my rambling. Then it hit me.
"I can't believe I turned it down!" I said with a strange cousin to surprise in my own voice. "Well, not that I can't believe I turned it down, but I've never actually had to choose between something so huge and my child before. I can't believe I just demonstrated how family oriented I am," I said as much to him as I did to myself. "You're going to be pondering this all night, aren't you?" he asked. "No. I know it's the right decision, I guess I'm just taken aback at myself. I've always been ambitious and said my child comes first, but I just made the decision without thinking about it. It didn't even occur to me what I did until just now while talking to you!" I said in amazement.
I know it's the right choice. I look forward to Shorty coming home, and I don't feel I'll be missing out on anything that could possibly matter more than me demonstrating to my son how important he is to me. My career ambitions are important, but they'll always be a means to an end. My first job is as my child's mother. My career as an engineer allows me to support my child as part of my first job. I've always believed that the people from my second job won't necessarily be at my funeral when I die, but if I do my first job right my son will.
posted by N'j at 10:49 PM
1 Comments:
Txt from TRS: "A Proberbs 31 woman takes care of her household...her family...I appreciate your decision regarding that project offer. You are a great woman!"
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