The Bottom Line After 8 Years

Carlos called this morning as I was driving to the QC. I was almost surprised to see his number since he didn't call last week as he said he would. I asked if he went out last night & he said he didn't because he wasn't feeling well (too much take out food last week). He asked if I had plans to come back to NO. "Well," I simply replied, "I did everything I needed to do in New Orleans last week, so I don't have any plans to go back." He sarcastically asked if I'd put my name in the hat for the open supervisory position in NO. "No, I'm not applying for the job," I flatly said.

I then proceeded to share the bottom line with him, including that I'm busy for the rest of the year. "I just finished my new budget & 3 year long range financial plans. I have over $400 freed up in my monthly budget, a bigger home for less money, & it's in a better school district here. If everything I'm hearing is true, minus my mortgage I'll be completely debt free in 3 years when I move to STL. I don't want to screw that up! On top of that, Shorty's got plans next weekend. That's right in line with what my mother's been reminding me of. In 3 years he's going to have his own life. I need to start thinking about what I want my life to look like once he's gone. I need to start thinking about my own companionship."

We then talked a bit about our plans for Thanksgiving (we're both spending Turkey Day in our respective home towns with our families), Christmas & New Year's (which we've both left kind of open). Eventually he ended the conversation the way he always does, "Well, I was just calling. I didn't really want anything." Sure. Except to hear my voice & hope that I'd miraculously changed my mind and would go back to the way things were. Read my lips, "I'm not coming back."

It may have taken me 8 years to move on, but I sure hope we don't have to spend 8 years having conversations like this one for him to get that I finally get it: He's Just Not That Into Me.