SO HON Cure
Is there any way to recover from an overshare event? This is the question I ponder on one of the most beautiful Saturdays I've witnessed since moving to IA (minus the fact that I was stood up for dinner).
I had plans for dinner with a guy I'd met via an online dating service (wanting to meet new people and all) after having had really good conversation for a couple of nights this week. We'd talked for 2 hours Wednesday night, and I felt really insecure that he wouldn't call again since toward the end of the first conversation he indicated we'd talked about everything except how many people we'd slept with and what kind of ring I wanted (I sarcastically told him I'd send him a picture of it later). When he actually did call, I was having a rough evening due to parental duties (Shorty had lied to me & I had to teach him why it was wrong to lie while dealing with him feeling bad about getting caught instead of feeling bad about the lying thing). I'd had one too many Heine's and ended up oversharing late into the hour of our conversation. This came after I asked him if we should meet to which he emphatically replied, "Yes," and we set a date for 6 PM tonight in a town halfway between the two of us. Unfortunately, after the overshare he said, "Wow! That's a lot! It's getting late & we could end up talking for 2 hours tonight if we don't go to bed." I agreed to which he replied, "I think we should talk again." I said fine & we halfway agreed to talk Friday night.
I went out after work with my new Brazilian friend from work. I told her I was skeptical about the guy and felt he probably wouldn't call again. She said he'd call and that I needed to think positive. I was thinking about how I overshared the night before. As we were finishing our conversation my phone rang and it was him. "What are you doing?" he said in a cute, childlike way. "I'm just out with my friend from work," I said. "Getting drunk?" he interjected. He followed with, "It sounds like you're in a bar." "No, we're not drunk! We've had maybe 1 beer & half a glass of wine in 3 hours. I'm actually in a restaurant, but we're sitting at the bar. Now she's paying the bill. I'm on my way home, can I call you back?" I inquired. He muttered something and the call ended. When I got home & called him back 20 minutes later, his voicemail picked up and I left a message. He didn't call back so I went to bed feeling more like I'd overshared.
This morning I resisted calling him (and certainly resisted calling Carlos as a substitute) by talking with numerous other friends. He finally called while I was on with my Cuban friend from work who lives in STL. "I'm on the other line with my friend from corporate...can I call you back?" I offered. "I'm actually on my way to this thing for the bank," he said (he's the v.p. of a bank in a small town in IA "I'll give you a call in an hour when I get back," he said. An hour came and went. Two hours came and went. I decided to go for a power walk because I was feeling good and anticipating meeting someone new and interesting. When I got home, I had a voice message from him saying he wanted to cancel for tonight and maybe we could meet tomorrow or some other time. He apologized saying he hoped I wasn't too mad and he really liked me and would rather be meeting me instead of working (it was a bank thing) and asked that I give him a call or if he didn't hear from he me would call me later.
I was disappointed but decided not to call him. I called my Brazilian friend and she coaxed me into going out to dinner with her. While out to dinner, I told her my Cuban friend is single again and planning to come up and visit me next month (we dated for about a month in 2003 when I wasn't ready for a commitment). She told me not to be sad about the online guy. I told her I wasn't because I always have a backup plan (e.g. Cuban friend). After dinner, I thought more about my Cuban friend as I drove home through the fields of eastern IA.
When we got together for dinner last year while I was in STL for a business trip, I overshared with him after dinner. He pulled away from me as I tried to kiss his neck. I later learned he'd recently started seeing someone (the same chick who recently broke up with him). I felt rejected after he pulled away, thinking I'd done a TMI dump on him about my dad & his Parkinson's resulting in his overshare induced communication retreat. Here we are, a year later, and we can still connect without that overshare hanging over my head.
Maybe the TMI dump with my Cuban friend didn't have as severe an effect because we'd known each other for so long and actually dated for a while prior to the download. Maybe if I hadn't been so stressed about Shorty Thursday evening I wouldn't have had emotionally induced diarreah of the mouth. Maybe if I'd...oh f#ck maybe! The whole damn event is more than 5 minutes ago!
If dude is truly interested in me, he'll still call...even with the overshare. And God willing, he'll take the TMI for what it is...a symptom of my sometimes overly honest & open nature. I just wish there was a pill for that, & I'm hoping it's not bitterness.
I had plans for dinner with a guy I'd met via an online dating service (wanting to meet new people and all) after having had really good conversation for a couple of nights this week. We'd talked for 2 hours Wednesday night, and I felt really insecure that he wouldn't call again since toward the end of the first conversation he indicated we'd talked about everything except how many people we'd slept with and what kind of ring I wanted (I sarcastically told him I'd send him a picture of it later). When he actually did call, I was having a rough evening due to parental duties (Shorty had lied to me & I had to teach him why it was wrong to lie while dealing with him feeling bad about getting caught instead of feeling bad about the lying thing). I'd had one too many Heine's and ended up oversharing late into the hour of our conversation. This came after I asked him if we should meet to which he emphatically replied, "Yes," and we set a date for 6 PM tonight in a town halfway between the two of us. Unfortunately, after the overshare he said, "Wow! That's a lot! It's getting late & we could end up talking for 2 hours tonight if we don't go to bed." I agreed to which he replied, "I think we should talk again." I said fine & we halfway agreed to talk Friday night.
I went out after work with my new Brazilian friend from work. I told her I was skeptical about the guy and felt he probably wouldn't call again. She said he'd call and that I needed to think positive. I was thinking about how I overshared the night before. As we were finishing our conversation my phone rang and it was him. "What are you doing?" he said in a cute, childlike way. "I'm just out with my friend from work," I said. "Getting drunk?" he interjected. He followed with, "It sounds like you're in a bar." "No, we're not drunk! We've had maybe 1 beer & half a glass of wine in 3 hours. I'm actually in a restaurant, but we're sitting at the bar. Now she's paying the bill. I'm on my way home, can I call you back?" I inquired. He muttered something and the call ended. When I got home & called him back 20 minutes later, his voicemail picked up and I left a message. He didn't call back so I went to bed feeling more like I'd overshared.
This morning I resisted calling him (and certainly resisted calling Carlos as a substitute) by talking with numerous other friends. He finally called while I was on with my Cuban friend from work who lives in STL. "I'm on the other line with my friend from corporate...can I call you back?" I offered. "I'm actually on my way to this thing for the bank," he said (he's the v.p. of a bank in a small town in IA "I'll give you a call in an hour when I get back," he said. An hour came and went. Two hours came and went. I decided to go for a power walk because I was feeling good and anticipating meeting someone new and interesting. When I got home, I had a voice message from him saying he wanted to cancel for tonight and maybe we could meet tomorrow or some other time. He apologized saying he hoped I wasn't too mad and he really liked me and would rather be meeting me instead of working (it was a bank thing) and asked that I give him a call or if he didn't hear from he me would call me later.
I was disappointed but decided not to call him. I called my Brazilian friend and she coaxed me into going out to dinner with her. While out to dinner, I told her my Cuban friend is single again and planning to come up and visit me next month (we dated for about a month in 2003 when I wasn't ready for a commitment). She told me not to be sad about the online guy. I told her I wasn't because I always have a backup plan (e.g. Cuban friend). After dinner, I thought more about my Cuban friend as I drove home through the fields of eastern IA.
When we got together for dinner last year while I was in STL for a business trip, I overshared with him after dinner. He pulled away from me as I tried to kiss his neck. I later learned he'd recently started seeing someone (the same chick who recently broke up with him). I felt rejected after he pulled away, thinking I'd done a TMI dump on him about my dad & his Parkinson's resulting in his overshare induced communication retreat. Here we are, a year later, and we can still connect without that overshare hanging over my head.
Maybe the TMI dump with my Cuban friend didn't have as severe an effect because we'd known each other for so long and actually dated for a while prior to the download. Maybe if I hadn't been so stressed about Shorty Thursday evening I wouldn't have had emotionally induced diarreah of the mouth. Maybe if I'd...oh f#ck maybe! The whole damn event is more than 5 minutes ago!
If dude is truly interested in me, he'll still call...even with the overshare. And God willing, he'll take the TMI for what it is...a symptom of my sometimes overly honest & open nature. I just wish there was a pill for that, & I'm hoping it's not bitterness.
posted by N'j at 10:18 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home