Hoping Beyond Hope
I arrived home from my semi-annual pilgramage home to FL yesterday (now I remember why I moved away 15 years ago). I was savoring the last half of my holiday when the postman knocked at the door. "I have a certified letter for you," he said in a deadpan tone. I took a deep breathe, accepted the letter, and signed the receipt. I immediately recognized the handwriting of my dreaded ex-husband. "Thank you," I said to the postman as I closed the door.
I opened the envelope as I thought to myself, "Here we go," and felt my blood pressure rise as I read the body of the letter. Essentially, my ex wrote that I'd sent our son to live with him in CA temporarily with the understanding that I'd agreed to let my ex decide if our son should return to IA. He also wrote that because our son had stated that he doesn't want to return and that my ex wants him there, my ex has already re-enrolled our son in the school in CA. He finally wrote that our son would not be using the return portion of the ticket I sent him to CA on.
It took me a moment to calm myself down, but so many thoughts were racing through my mind. "What an asshole! He's really going to pursue custody and take advantage of a weak moment in my mental health!" was my first thought. Then I thought, "Calm down. What's the most logical step to take next?" I decided to fax a copy of the letter to my attorney today, especially since the letter my ex sent has a different return address than his mother's home (has he finally gotten his own place?!).
I faxed a copy of the letter to my attorney's office today and followed up with a call to his legal secretary. I let her know that there may now be a third address at which to have my ex husband served. After not hearing from my attorney's office, I arrived home this evening (after a long day of auditing with the contractor we've hired to get RC 14001 certification from [one of the main project's I've been working on as part of my next promotion]) and decided to give civility one last try. I texted my ex, "Got your ltr. Pls call." in hopes that we'll have a mature conversation that resolves the miscommunication and differences between us. I may be hoping beyond hope, but I'm trying to exhibit the characteristics of the mother (and co-parent) I believe my child deserves.
I opened the envelope as I thought to myself, "Here we go," and felt my blood pressure rise as I read the body of the letter. Essentially, my ex wrote that I'd sent our son to live with him in CA temporarily with the understanding that I'd agreed to let my ex decide if our son should return to IA. He also wrote that because our son had stated that he doesn't want to return and that my ex wants him there, my ex has already re-enrolled our son in the school in CA. He finally wrote that our son would not be using the return portion of the ticket I sent him to CA on.
It took me a moment to calm myself down, but so many thoughts were racing through my mind. "What an asshole! He's really going to pursue custody and take advantage of a weak moment in my mental health!" was my first thought. Then I thought, "Calm down. What's the most logical step to take next?" I decided to fax a copy of the letter to my attorney today, especially since the letter my ex sent has a different return address than his mother's home (has he finally gotten his own place?!).
I faxed a copy of the letter to my attorney's office today and followed up with a call to his legal secretary. I let her know that there may now be a third address at which to have my ex husband served. After not hearing from my attorney's office, I arrived home this evening (after a long day of auditing with the contractor we've hired to get RC 14001 certification from [one of the main project's I've been working on as part of my next promotion]) and decided to give civility one last try. I texted my ex, "Got your ltr. Pls call." in hopes that we'll have a mature conversation that resolves the miscommunication and differences between us. I may be hoping beyond hope, but I'm trying to exhibit the characteristics of the mother (and co-parent) I believe my child deserves.
posted by N'j at 7:11 PM
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