Paradox Of Virtues

Earlier tonight I did something I've never done before...I sang karaoke! I went to a local bar/restaurant with a bunch of folks from work simply because the other option that would minimize gas usage was to stay home and watch the USA premier of SWEET HOME ALABAMA. Instead of risking being completely reclusive, I decided to go out and hang with other people.

I'd originally been invited by my HR rep (a late 20's midwesterner from neighboring Illinois who's also had to search for ways to entertain herself & her husband), and was joined by my new Brazilian friend & a couple of folks from purchasing (who in our company pass through the plant in IA like water through a dam). My HR rep apparently loves karaoke and was touted as a pretty good singer. After a pitcher of beer, she had no problem getting up and singing in front of the ever reserved IA crowd. Given my liver's condition after 8 years in NO, it took a few more beers for me to be ready to sing publically.

After thumbing through the notebook of available songs, I settled on "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benetar. I'd spent a better part of my childhood singing the words in my family playroom with the headphones on and the volume maxed out, so I figured I'd be okay with remembering the words. When the time came, I went up to the makeshift stage, took the mike, and nervously started to sing.

I focused on the monitor and visualized Carlos as I did my best to put my feelings into the words. I was shaking noticably the whole time, but when the bridge came I heard cheers from the crowd and felt encouraged. At the end of the song I demonstrated my air guitar skills and hurried off to my seat when the next person's name was called. My co-workers were surprised that I was "a good karaoke singer". Even though I was in the chorus at school in 4-6th grades, I hadn't sung publically until last night (reasons I was so nervous)!

Although I'm an outgoing and friendly individual, I absolutely hate being the center of attention (and being photographed without permission or preparation), have a hard time making new friends, and am generally shy. I guess that just confirmes my paradox of virtues. I was once a yoga instructor who smoked daily. I'm an orderly engineer who likes spontanaity. I never wanted to be a mother, but I love children. Who knew God could fit so many diametrically opposite qualities into one person!