Losing Exponentially

Today I started getting my ducks in a row in preparation for the custody battle for my son. As I chronicled the events over the last 10 years that have lead to this situation, I realized that I'm not just working through my ex-husband & my divorce issues, but his issues with his own parents' divorce! When I realized my ex-husband fighting me for custody of our son is merely symbolic of him standing in for his dead father fighting his mother for custody of him, it all made sense.

He sees me as his mother and himself as his father. Even though his father was trifling (especially as the coke snorting womanizing irresponsible man that he was during my ex-husband's tender years), he's trying to do for our son what his father didn't do for him. And by me fighting to keep custody of our son (even though his mother kept my ex away from his father during those incredibly trying times for his own safety...good, bad, or indifferent) my ex sees me as his mother trying to keep him from his father.

All this has made it clear to me that I'm not just in the middle of a custody battle between my ex-husband and myself for our son, but a custody battle between my deceased father and mother-in-law for my ex-husband! It's a no win situation. When I think of the movie THE WAR OF THE ROSES, I'm reminded of what Danny Devito's character said about divorce, "There is no winning in divorce, only degrees of losing." Take those degrees and multiply them exponentially, and that's the situation I'm dealing with.