Will Work For Travel
I got home from Live Earth NYC on Monday and found in my mailbox the sweater I'd left at the SJA's house during my last trip to NO. I snarfed (snarf: the sarcastic cousin of a sigh with a smirk of punctuation) to myself, thinking, "he actually made it a point to make sure it didn't get to me before I left for NY even after I sent him a self addressed priorty mail envelope via priority mail...what a JACK@$$!" None the less, I wore it to work today with one of the new tops I bought during my trip from Ann Taylor.
Even though I've felt tremendous relief at no longer having any ties to the man, I haven't been very focused this week. As the time draws near for the jurisdiction/child support hearing, I've been thinking a lot about what may happen when I go to LA to p/u Shorty next month. I spent some time today researching flights to LA and was dismayed to find nothing less than $600. I'm not too happy about the thought of having to spend that kind of money to go get my kid when all my ex has to do is put Shorty on the plane. So I decided to try diplomacy one more time.
I sent him a text with the subject line "Interested in mediation?" with the body reading
"It's been over 4 years and seems to be about time. Call me if you're interested," and included my cell number (like he forgot it).
"What would we go to mediation for ?" he wrote back.
I resisted the urge to send a smart reply along the lines of, "Not like you haven't been served with papers about child support, etc. Duh!" and sent this instead:
"Well we have diametrically opposite opinions about what's best for Shorty. And you seem to still be stuck on old issues. The goal would be final resolution of those issues to improve communications so we can co-parent our child through the upcoming difficult teen years. Or we could keep doing the same thing. Just a thought." He didn't reply.
I then spent a better part of the afternoon analyzing the child support transactions between us and adding comments on what was going on in our lives over the years in an attempt to look at the situation subjectively (i.e. our individual moves, the conversation I had with his girlfriend in '03 after which she kicked him out, his father's early death, him breaking his ankle, etc). I also thought about how I'm going to help Shorty make the connection between why he needs to be more responsible, put more effort into his schoolwork, and develop self-motivation before he goes out on his own. I decided that taking him to Kenya to see my father's homeland and the extreme poverty his 2nd cousins live in might be all the motivation he needs to realize how good his life is.
I then reviewed my financial files to determine how I would pay for our trip to Kenya. It's something that's been on my mind since he was born, but with my finances improving at a steady pace, it's actually become a strong possibility without damaging other financial priorities. With the plan I have right now I'll be completely consumer debt free by the end of 2008 with just my mortgage and regular household bills to pay. In two years I'll have enough saved that I can spend the 10 grand for us to fly to Kenya without incurring any additional debt. I also have the option of cashing in my remaining company stock options.
Then I reviewed the company stock performance since it got sucked into the bankruptcy lawsuit several years ago. The company is doing well enough (based on the polynomial trend I used to forecast future stock price) that if I hold onto the shares I have, I could finance Shorty's college education for at least 2 years and still be able to travel.
Afterward, I did more searches for a cheaper flight to LA and booked a hotel room for my sisters & I for the upcoming Sisters' Weekend 2007. I also blocked out time for my girlfriend in TX to visit in September, and earmarked frequent flier miles for a trip home for Shorty & I over Thanksgiving. I evaluated throwing in a trip somewhere in October to celebrate my birthday, to Germany over Xmas break to visit a couple of cousins I have, and started listing out trips in 2008 and 2009.
I came to the end of the day realizing I should probably start going to work wearing a t-shirt that reads, "Will Work For Travel".
Even though I've felt tremendous relief at no longer having any ties to the man, I haven't been very focused this week. As the time draws near for the jurisdiction/child support hearing, I've been thinking a lot about what may happen when I go to LA to p/u Shorty next month. I spent some time today researching flights to LA and was dismayed to find nothing less than $600. I'm not too happy about the thought of having to spend that kind of money to go get my kid when all my ex has to do is put Shorty on the plane. So I decided to try diplomacy one more time.
I sent him a text with the subject line "Interested in mediation?" with the body reading
"It's been over 4 years and seems to be about time. Call me if you're interested," and included my cell number (like he forgot it).
"What would we go to mediation for ?" he wrote back.
I resisted the urge to send a smart reply along the lines of, "Not like you haven't been served with papers about child support, etc. Duh!" and sent this instead:
"Well we have diametrically opposite opinions about what's best for Shorty. And you seem to still be stuck on old issues. The goal would be final resolution of those issues to improve communications so we can co-parent our child through the upcoming difficult teen years. Or we could keep doing the same thing. Just a thought." He didn't reply.
I then spent a better part of the afternoon analyzing the child support transactions between us and adding comments on what was going on in our lives over the years in an attempt to look at the situation subjectively (i.e. our individual moves, the conversation I had with his girlfriend in '03 after which she kicked him out, his father's early death, him breaking his ankle, etc). I also thought about how I'm going to help Shorty make the connection between why he needs to be more responsible, put more effort into his schoolwork, and develop self-motivation before he goes out on his own. I decided that taking him to Kenya to see my father's homeland and the extreme poverty his 2nd cousins live in might be all the motivation he needs to realize how good his life is.
I then reviewed my financial files to determine how I would pay for our trip to Kenya. It's something that's been on my mind since he was born, but with my finances improving at a steady pace, it's actually become a strong possibility without damaging other financial priorities. With the plan I have right now I'll be completely consumer debt free by the end of 2008 with just my mortgage and regular household bills to pay. In two years I'll have enough saved that I can spend the 10 grand for us to fly to Kenya without incurring any additional debt. I also have the option of cashing in my remaining company stock options.
Then I reviewed the company stock performance since it got sucked into the bankruptcy lawsuit several years ago. The company is doing well enough (based on the polynomial trend I used to forecast future stock price) that if I hold onto the shares I have, I could finance Shorty's college education for at least 2 years and still be able to travel.
Afterward, I did more searches for a cheaper flight to LA and booked a hotel room for my sisters & I for the upcoming Sisters' Weekend 2007. I also blocked out time for my girlfriend in TX to visit in September, and earmarked frequent flier miles for a trip home for Shorty & I over Thanksgiving. I evaluated throwing in a trip somewhere in October to celebrate my birthday, to Germany over Xmas break to visit a couple of cousins I have, and started listing out trips in 2008 and 2009.
I came to the end of the day realizing I should probably start going to work wearing a t-shirt that reads, "Will Work For Travel".
posted by N'j at 8:30 PM
1 Comments:
I woulnd't mind hearing more about your polynomial trend.
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