The Wrong First Date
I went on my first real date in over 6 months today with a guy from Valdosta, GA (woo hoo, another southerner!). We met at a "brown people in IA" networking function last week. He's 45, divorced (he walked in on his wife with another man), lives in Cedar Rapids, and is "handy around the house". Because I didn't have anything better to do, I went to dinner with him at the local "upscale" restaurant. After dinner, we sat on a bench on the riverfront and talked for a while. He reminds me of a Baptist minister I dated in NO for 9 months. The whole time we were together I kept thinking about another guy (who happens to be a mechanical engineer working for Kennedy Space Center...a real live rocket scientist!) I've been corresponding with for the last week.
The rocket scientist (TRS) and I met in New Zealand while there for a mutal friend's wedding. TRS was my "boyfriend" from college's best man at the wedding and we just clicked when we met. TRS was engaged at the time, but we ended up talking in my hotel room for a while one morning. After getting to know each other a bit TRS said, "Why didn't [my "boyfriend" from college] tell me about you sooner?!" I didn't know how to answer the question since I was thinking, "because I've been in love with a selfish jack@$$ for 6 years!" and instead replied, "I don't know! Why didn't he introduce us sooner?!" Once I met his fiancee (who was as close to frigid and distant as one can imagine considering the joyful occasion we were there to celebrate), I thought he might be making a mistake in marrying her. So I wasn't surprised when my "boyfriend" from college called me last Saturday and told me TRS is recently divorced, but I was pleased to hear TRS was looking for me and wanted my contact information.
I quizzed my "boyfriend" from college on TRS's current stats, particularly, how long he's been divorced. My "boyfriend" gave me TRS's info and assured me his interest wasn't "one of those crazy rebound things". I told my "boyfriend" to go ahead and give TRS my info and then marveled at how I'd just been looking at the pictures from the wedding the day before and thinking what a shame it was that TRS was engaged when we met.
When I arrived at work Monday morning I noted an email TRS had sent first thing that morning. He was asking general questions including "I'm divorced now. Are you still single?" We corresponded via email for a better part of the day, and after 5 or so emails I gave him my number and suggested we talk on the phone. He called Monday night and we ended up talking for over 2 hours. Needless to say, we immediately reconnected. I was pleased to receive an email from him about our Monday night conversation on Tuesday morning, including a .ppt with a picture of a half eaten cupcake with the caption "I got this cupcake for you but I was hungry so I ate some. I'll have to get you another one" and a picture of himself next to the rocket booster he worked on after the most recent shuttle launch. We've been in contact ever since.
We've talked about relationships, money, children, spirituality, our families, our childhoods, our careers, travel, our goals, and of course, our mutual friend. We really have a lot in common and I'm very interested in him. He's apparently also very interested in me since he's already asked me out to dinner when I go to Tampa in August for this year's Sisters' Weekend.
Although the Valdosta, GA was nice & polite, it ended with me feeling "eh" about him thing I was on the wrong first date. I wish I'd spent the evening with TRS, and I'm truly looking forward to our first date in August. In the meantime, I'm going to see Valdosta again soon and hopefully cultivate a friendship with him that will tie me over until I have a first date with a man who leaves me feeling the way I did after that night in Rome when I met the Norwegian I fell in love with him over dinner near Piazza Bernini...and I can go there with him and fall in love all over again.
The rocket scientist (TRS) and I met in New Zealand while there for a mutal friend's wedding. TRS was my "boyfriend" from college's best man at the wedding and we just clicked when we met. TRS was engaged at the time, but we ended up talking in my hotel room for a while one morning. After getting to know each other a bit TRS said, "Why didn't [my "boyfriend" from college] tell me about you sooner?!" I didn't know how to answer the question since I was thinking, "because I've been in love with a selfish jack@$$ for 6 years!" and instead replied, "I don't know! Why didn't he introduce us sooner?!" Once I met his fiancee (who was as close to frigid and distant as one can imagine considering the joyful occasion we were there to celebrate), I thought he might be making a mistake in marrying her. So I wasn't surprised when my "boyfriend" from college called me last Saturday and told me TRS is recently divorced, but I was pleased to hear TRS was looking for me and wanted my contact information.
I quizzed my "boyfriend" from college on TRS's current stats, particularly, how long he's been divorced. My "boyfriend" gave me TRS's info and assured me his interest wasn't "one of those crazy rebound things". I told my "boyfriend" to go ahead and give TRS my info and then marveled at how I'd just been looking at the pictures from the wedding the day before and thinking what a shame it was that TRS was engaged when we met.
When I arrived at work Monday morning I noted an email TRS had sent first thing that morning. He was asking general questions including "I'm divorced now. Are you still single?" We corresponded via email for a better part of the day, and after 5 or so emails I gave him my number and suggested we talk on the phone. He called Monday night and we ended up talking for over 2 hours. Needless to say, we immediately reconnected. I was pleased to receive an email from him about our Monday night conversation on Tuesday morning, including a .ppt with a picture of a half eaten cupcake with the caption "I got this cupcake for you but I was hungry so I ate some. I'll have to get you another one" and a picture of himself next to the rocket booster he worked on after the most recent shuttle launch. We've been in contact ever since.
We've talked about relationships, money, children, spirituality, our families, our childhoods, our careers, travel, our goals, and of course, our mutual friend. We really have a lot in common and I'm very interested in him. He's apparently also very interested in me since he's already asked me out to dinner when I go to Tampa in August for this year's Sisters' Weekend.
Although the Valdosta, GA was nice & polite, it ended with me feeling "eh" about him thing I was on the wrong first date. I wish I'd spent the evening with TRS, and I'm truly looking forward to our first date in August. In the meantime, I'm going to see Valdosta again soon and hopefully cultivate a friendship with him that will tie me over until I have a first date with a man who leaves me feeling the way I did after that night in Rome when I met the Norwegian I fell in love with him over dinner near Piazza Bernini...and I can go there with him and fall in love all over again.
posted by N'j at 10:50 PM
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