What's The Point?!
So it's Saturday night, I'm still 32, I still live in IA, and I've run out of purposeful things to do. After having my hair done this morning (did she really cut off a whole inch?! Growing my hair long is going to be a long process), I spent the rest of the day keeping my new Brazilian friend company (her American boyfriend broke up with her yet again). I came home and decided to be productive. I thoroughly cleaned my bathroom (including washing my shower curtain), started the laundry, and finished organizing my tax documents (thank God I had them done last week and I'm looking forward to my tax return next Friday). When I finished my chores I waited for the clothes to dry and thought, "I need a project."
I could spend next Saturday night shredding old documents that are filling my bloated file cabinet. I could spend next Saturday night organizing the personal memorabilia in my basement. I could spend next Saturday night writing TWO NIGHTS IN ROME. But once I finish those things, what will I do? What's the point? I will have passed the time and grown older while organizing and controlling those things in my life that I can...but how much closer will I be to having the one thing that I yearn for (requited love) that I can't control?
I could spend the rest of tonight watching Degrassi (oh, youth is wasted on the young). I could spend the rest of the night drinking and smoking clove cigarettes (thanks for the introduction, SJA). I could spend the rest of the night reading Mean Girls Grown Up (in preparation for my next encounter with my mother & sisters). Or I could spend the rest of the night sobering up and doing what Christiano Ramella told me to do almost two years ago when I told him I was going to write TWO NIGHTS IN ROME: "Keep the point."
The point of the experience during those two nights in Rome was intimacy without sex, where sex can be anything that's pleasurable (or controllable) and seems meaningful in the moment. I guess I better sober up while watching Degrassi and waiting for the clothes to dry.
I could spend next Saturday night shredding old documents that are filling my bloated file cabinet. I could spend next Saturday night organizing the personal memorabilia in my basement. I could spend next Saturday night writing TWO NIGHTS IN ROME. But once I finish those things, what will I do? What's the point? I will have passed the time and grown older while organizing and controlling those things in my life that I can...but how much closer will I be to having the one thing that I yearn for (requited love) that I can't control?
I could spend the rest of tonight watching Degrassi (oh, youth is wasted on the young). I could spend the rest of the night drinking and smoking clove cigarettes (thanks for the introduction, SJA). I could spend the rest of the night reading Mean Girls Grown Up (in preparation for my next encounter with my mother & sisters). Or I could spend the rest of the night sobering up and doing what Christiano Ramella told me to do almost two years ago when I told him I was going to write TWO NIGHTS IN ROME: "Keep the point."
The point of the experience during those two nights in Rome was intimacy without sex, where sex can be anything that's pleasurable (or controllable) and seems meaningful in the moment. I guess I better sober up while watching Degrassi and waiting for the clothes to dry.
posted by N'j at 9:24 PM
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