A Moment Of Peace
When I came home today, I went out to my back patio and sat in my chair on the east side of my fire pit table. As I was soaking up the last bit of daylight, taking in the sunset, I felt it...a moment of peace. I realized that I have no regrets about sending Shorty to his dad, I didn't miss the jack@$$ (even though he's been on my mind on this first Mardi Gras weekend since we met), and I was perfectly comfortable with my aloneness...not at all feeling lonely.
Looking out to the west and watching the trees gobbled up the sun as it auspiciously dipped into the horizon on this warm (if you can call 40 something degrees warm) February evening, I thought of what I would do with myself for the next six months that I have freedom from mommydom. I knew that every day after work during this time I'd have the freedom to do whatever I wanted. I may not feel peace like this every day, but I had the freedom to fill the time any way I wanted. I pondered hobbies I could take up to fill my time and landed on one of my life long dreams...run a marathon.
I have a few girlfriends & a couple of co-workers who've been training &/or have recently run marathons. When each of them informed me of what they were doing, I was impressed. I'd always wanted to run a marathon and had actually been training for one the summer before I got pregnant with Shorty. Now I have the time to pursue that dream unfettered...or at least lay the foundation for continued training while he's away.
I've always loved running. There's something about being out there on the open road with just me and my body to get me where I want to be. At first it can be difficult, even boring. But somehow, if I can make it to my second wind, I always end up in a zone that parallels no other. And finishing the race is better than any orgasm, leaving me with a moment of peace similar to what I felt today.
Distance running is more a mental than physical sport (much like motherhood). It's about taking the challenge in increments, strategically ignoring the physically cries from your body to stop when your mind says keep going, and vice versa when the body hits the runner's high and the mind says, "this is CRAZY!" I want to experience that again, in a way I've never experienced it before...so lest I die before I'm 34, I'll finish the Chicago marathon and have my next moment of peace.
Looking out to the west and watching the trees gobbled up the sun as it auspiciously dipped into the horizon on this warm (if you can call 40 something degrees warm) February evening, I thought of what I would do with myself for the next six months that I have freedom from mommydom. I knew that every day after work during this time I'd have the freedom to do whatever I wanted. I may not feel peace like this every day, but I had the freedom to fill the time any way I wanted. I pondered hobbies I could take up to fill my time and landed on one of my life long dreams...run a marathon.
I have a few girlfriends & a couple of co-workers who've been training &/or have recently run marathons. When each of them informed me of what they were doing, I was impressed. I'd always wanted to run a marathon and had actually been training for one the summer before I got pregnant with Shorty. Now I have the time to pursue that dream unfettered...or at least lay the foundation for continued training while he's away.
I've always loved running. There's something about being out there on the open road with just me and my body to get me where I want to be. At first it can be difficult, even boring. But somehow, if I can make it to my second wind, I always end up in a zone that parallels no other. And finishing the race is better than any orgasm, leaving me with a moment of peace similar to what I felt today.
Distance running is more a mental than physical sport (much like motherhood). It's about taking the challenge in increments, strategically ignoring the physically cries from your body to stop when your mind says keep going, and vice versa when the body hits the runner's high and the mind says, "this is CRAZY!" I want to experience that again, in a way I've never experienced it before...so lest I die before I'm 34, I'll finish the Chicago marathon and have my next moment of peace.
posted by N'j at 8:56 PM
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