Green Means Go...Except On St. Patrick's Day
Darryl & I just got off the phone. We spent close to an hour trying to sort out our plans for the winter holidays. Now that I've got Shorty's plans more solid (I'll be reluctantly sending him to LA for his annual Xmas visit with his father...ugh), we've confirmed that we'll be spending New Year's Eve in New York City with my best friend, her non-boyfriend, my girlfriend & her husband. That left me thinking out loud about what to do with myself for Xmas.
Originally I'd planned to go to Germany to spend Xmas with a couple of my cousins whom I haven't seen in almost 20 years, but when I found out my friends were going to be in NYC in Times Square for NYE, I saw an opportunity to check off yet another to do item from my list of things to do before I die. When I asked Darryl what he thought about spending that time together, he suggested we stay with a friend of his who lives in the Bronx. That meant the trip to Germany was out for '07. When I told Darryl I'd likely spend Xmas alone here in IA he got quiet for a moment and then said, "Well, I'd like for you to spend Xmas with me. What if I could make that happen?"
"How would you make that happen?" I asked as I thought about his current financial situation. "With frequent flier miles," he responded. "Well that'll be at least 50K miles," I said and then added, "What about Kenya?" We've already agreed that he'll be joining Shorty & I (along with any of my friends and family who choose to go) for a trip to Africa in the summer of 2009. "Whatever you decide is fine with me," he said. "I'm easy."
I then looked into a multicity trip for me through my hometown, then to NYC for New Year's, and back to IA just in time to pick Shorty up after his trip is over. It actually comes out to be about the same as what I would've spent going to Germany so I decided that would work. Then came the decision about where we'd spend our Xmas. Should we be together in Orlando (where he lives), him in Miami with his father with me in Jville with my family, or together with my family in Jville and then taking a trip to Miami to visit his father before we take off for NYC. We somehow decided that Xmas with my family made the most sense and I started talking through potential sleeping arrangements at either my sister or my parents' house. That's when I felt nauseated! My head started spinning, I felt lightheaded and started feeling like things might be moving too fast.
I heard a little voice inside me say, "When did I lose my dream trip to Germany where I was supposed to be sipping hot toddies with my cousin on Christmas Eve after zipping down the autobahn to the black forest?!"
I mentioned this to Darryl & told him not to take it personally, but trying to balance my time between my family & anyone else hasn't been an issue for me in 15 years! Never mind that I've only brought two men home for the holidays in my entire life (my first love & my ex-husband), and I was already married to one of them when I did. He was understanding & let me know that whatever I decide is fine with him. He wished me sweet dreams & we got off the phone.
After I finished throwing up, I took a minute to tune in to my spirit as I tried to make sense of it all.
"Okay," I thought to myself, "I know distance is a factor, so I'll have to do things a little differently than I would if we lived in the same city. First, if we lived in the same city and he made it through 3 weeks of dating, I'd introduce him to my "boyfriend" from college. He grew up with my "boyfriend" from college, and we've already spent time with him & his wife after we'd been talking for 6 weeks. If we lived in the same city & he made it through 3 months of dating, I'd introduce him to my best friend. We're already planning to meet up with her & my other girlfriend when we'll have been dating for 5 months. I've set St. Patrick's Day as my personal end of his probation period to get his finances together (I've not shared this with him), so it's probably better to hold off introducing him to the fam until I go home again for Memorial Day weekend." Whew! That was easy.
The holidays with my family are sacred to me (and just as important as a FICO score), so until I'm sure he's going to be around for a while I'm going wait that out (maybe I'll let him meet my sisters again...briefly). Besides, if he doesn't make it past St. Patrick's Day, I can still make the trip to Germany for Easter without having acted precipitously and introduced him to the 'rents!
Originally I'd planned to go to Germany to spend Xmas with a couple of my cousins whom I haven't seen in almost 20 years, but when I found out my friends were going to be in NYC in Times Square for NYE, I saw an opportunity to check off yet another to do item from my list of things to do before I die. When I asked Darryl what he thought about spending that time together, he suggested we stay with a friend of his who lives in the Bronx. That meant the trip to Germany was out for '07. When I told Darryl I'd likely spend Xmas alone here in IA he got quiet for a moment and then said, "Well, I'd like for you to spend Xmas with me. What if I could make that happen?"
"How would you make that happen?" I asked as I thought about his current financial situation. "With frequent flier miles," he responded. "Well that'll be at least 50K miles," I said and then added, "What about Kenya?" We've already agreed that he'll be joining Shorty & I (along with any of my friends and family who choose to go) for a trip to Africa in the summer of 2009. "Whatever you decide is fine with me," he said. "I'm easy."
I then looked into a multicity trip for me through my hometown, then to NYC for New Year's, and back to IA just in time to pick Shorty up after his trip is over. It actually comes out to be about the same as what I would've spent going to Germany so I decided that would work. Then came the decision about where we'd spend our Xmas. Should we be together in Orlando (where he lives), him in Miami with his father with me in Jville with my family, or together with my family in Jville and then taking a trip to Miami to visit his father before we take off for NYC. We somehow decided that Xmas with my family made the most sense and I started talking through potential sleeping arrangements at either my sister or my parents' house. That's when I felt nauseated! My head started spinning, I felt lightheaded and started feeling like things might be moving too fast.
I heard a little voice inside me say, "When did I lose my dream trip to Germany where I was supposed to be sipping hot toddies with my cousin on Christmas Eve after zipping down the autobahn to the black forest?!"
I mentioned this to Darryl & told him not to take it personally, but trying to balance my time between my family & anyone else hasn't been an issue for me in 15 years! Never mind that I've only brought two men home for the holidays in my entire life (my first love & my ex-husband), and I was already married to one of them when I did. He was understanding & let me know that whatever I decide is fine with him. He wished me sweet dreams & we got off the phone.
After I finished throwing up, I took a minute to tune in to my spirit as I tried to make sense of it all.
"Okay," I thought to myself, "I know distance is a factor, so I'll have to do things a little differently than I would if we lived in the same city. First, if we lived in the same city and he made it through 3 weeks of dating, I'd introduce him to my "boyfriend" from college. He grew up with my "boyfriend" from college, and we've already spent time with him & his wife after we'd been talking for 6 weeks. If we lived in the same city & he made it through 3 months of dating, I'd introduce him to my best friend. We're already planning to meet up with her & my other girlfriend when we'll have been dating for 5 months. I've set St. Patrick's Day as my personal end of his probation period to get his finances together (I've not shared this with him), so it's probably better to hold off introducing him to the fam until I go home again for Memorial Day weekend." Whew! That was easy.
The holidays with my family are sacred to me (and just as important as a FICO score), so until I'm sure he's going to be around for a while I'm going wait that out (maybe I'll let him meet my sisters again...briefly). Besides, if he doesn't make it past St. Patrick's Day, I can still make the trip to Germany for Easter without having acted precipitously and introduced him to the 'rents!
posted by N'j at 11:08 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home