Courage, Candor, & Toxic Co-Workers
Thankfully the work week is over, or is it? Tomorrow evening I'm going to the company post-holiday party with the most powerful woman in the plant and her husband. My co-workers and I discussed the party over lunch today and it seems we're all looking forward to it...except Scott.
I was tired when I got to work today (thanks in part to his emotionally toxic dump on me yesterday), arrived at work late, barely made it through the morning, and was highly unproductive. I was even less productive after lunch when Scott stopped by my office to work on our project. I'd planned on telling him, "I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time, but it's inappropriate for us to discuss your personal life at work." Nevermind that it's a distraction for me.
When he started talking about work I thought I wouldn't have to tell him not to talk to me about it, but he eventually started dumping his toxic situation on me again. I sighed when he started sharing more of his personal difficulties again, but he didn't get it. After a while I just reflexively started saying, "Bad news," over and over again. I thought he got the point because he left my office, but he came back and continued talking about his issues. Then I just unthinkingly started saying how I felt, "I'm exhausted," over and over again. I finally took the hair pin out of my hair, let it down, and put my head on my desk. It was after 4 on a Friday afternoon, and I just didn't have anymore to give.
Then I got an email about the company's new electronic system for goals and decided it was a good time to talk to my boss about what I need to be working on to fulfill my purpose in life (considering the conversation I had Wednesday with my sponsor, the corporate director of environmental affairs). When I walked down the hall to talk to her she was on the phone, so I shuffled back to my office. I couldn't think straight, so I shut down my computer and packed up for the weekend. I stopped by her office again to let her know I was leaving.
"You needed to see me?" she asked. "I'm exhausted," I professed to her. "I just don't have any more energy to work on the project today," I said. "It's been a tough week and my brain is fried. I just can't think about work any more today."
"You mean besides that you're a single mother with a demanding job and living in a city with no resources?" she instinctively said.
Until she said that, I'd forgotten how strong I am and how valuable my spiritual resources are. I just don't have enough in my spiritual bank account to expend energy coaching a co-worker through a divorce while guiding my career through a minefield filled with challenges due to my double minority status. I've gone through my own divorce once, I don't need to go through it again with a co-worker!
I know I need to tell Scott to stop dumping on me, and I know I need to tell my other co-workers to stop shooting down my ideas. If I don't work up the courage to address my own needs in the workplace, I'll never have enough energy in my account to consistently pursue my purpose in life. I'm the only thing holding me back. Now if I could just find the strength of courage to stand up for myself to candidly say what needs to be said to my toxic co-workers.
I was tired when I got to work today (thanks in part to his emotionally toxic dump on me yesterday), arrived at work late, barely made it through the morning, and was highly unproductive. I was even less productive after lunch when Scott stopped by my office to work on our project. I'd planned on telling him, "I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time, but it's inappropriate for us to discuss your personal life at work." Nevermind that it's a distraction for me.
When he started talking about work I thought I wouldn't have to tell him not to talk to me about it, but he eventually started dumping his toxic situation on me again. I sighed when he started sharing more of his personal difficulties again, but he didn't get it. After a while I just reflexively started saying, "Bad news," over and over again. I thought he got the point because he left my office, but he came back and continued talking about his issues. Then I just unthinkingly started saying how I felt, "I'm exhausted," over and over again. I finally took the hair pin out of my hair, let it down, and put my head on my desk. It was after 4 on a Friday afternoon, and I just didn't have anymore to give.
Then I got an email about the company's new electronic system for goals and decided it was a good time to talk to my boss about what I need to be working on to fulfill my purpose in life (considering the conversation I had Wednesday with my sponsor, the corporate director of environmental affairs). When I walked down the hall to talk to her she was on the phone, so I shuffled back to my office. I couldn't think straight, so I shut down my computer and packed up for the weekend. I stopped by her office again to let her know I was leaving.
"You needed to see me?" she asked. "I'm exhausted," I professed to her. "I just don't have any more energy to work on the project today," I said. "It's been a tough week and my brain is fried. I just can't think about work any more today."
"You mean besides that you're a single mother with a demanding job and living in a city with no resources?" she instinctively said.
Until she said that, I'd forgotten how strong I am and how valuable my spiritual resources are. I just don't have enough in my spiritual bank account to expend energy coaching a co-worker through a divorce while guiding my career through a minefield filled with challenges due to my double minority status. I've gone through my own divorce once, I don't need to go through it again with a co-worker!
I know I need to tell Scott to stop dumping on me, and I know I need to tell my other co-workers to stop shooting down my ideas. If I don't work up the courage to address my own needs in the workplace, I'll never have enough energy in my account to consistently pursue my purpose in life. I'm the only thing holding me back. Now if I could just find the strength of courage to stand up for myself to candidly say what needs to be said to my toxic co-workers.
posted by N'j at 6:19 PM
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