21 Days
Today marks a milestone in my new life. The last time I talked to the jack@$$ was three weeks ago and I feel fine. When he called I was slightly surprised. I'd thought that when we talked three weeks prior to that and I'd said, "You don't have to call," that he'd get that I wasn't just quoting a song by Usher. Unfortunately, he didn't get it (something about a little bus) and decided to contact me to find out when we'd see each other again. He attempted to convince me that I was wrong about my decision to move on with my life, but apparently he needed me to spell things out for him.
"It's over! I'm done! I'm not coming back and you don't need to come up here! So, you don't have to call to find out how I'm doing. You don't have to call to see how Shorty's doing in school You don't have to call to find out how my parents are! And you don't have to call to congratulate me on my next promotion. You don't need to call me any more!" I exclaimed.
"Ever?!" he said with confusion in his voice. "Yes! EVER!" I replied, almost surprised at how he still didn't get it. "I didn't move a thousand miles away for us to stay in contact. So don't call me any more," I commanded.
At first I thought he might call to wish me a Happy New Year, but I had mixed emotions when he didn't. I was thankful at the thought that he might have finally gotten the message that I'm done, but also felt (thanks to my ego) that he at least owed me an "I'm sorry" for all the grief he'd caused me over the 8 years we lived in the same town. Over the last few weeks, my ego has thought about calling him, but that little voice of reason always convinced me not to by saying, "For what?! So you can give him another opportunity to insult you? So he can lie to you again about how much you mean to him? So he can back burner you again with promises of looking into visiting when it's convenient for him?! Just to let you down, yet again!"
In the last three weeks I've let the little voice win, and I'm thankful. It takes 21 days to form a new habit (or let go of an old one), and from here on out I'm going to feed the little voice when my ego is starving for attention. I have a feeling that if I do that, I'll be even more happy with myself 21 days later.
"It's over! I'm done! I'm not coming back and you don't need to come up here! So, you don't have to call to find out how I'm doing. You don't have to call to see how Shorty's doing in school You don't have to call to find out how my parents are! And you don't have to call to congratulate me on my next promotion. You don't need to call me any more!" I exclaimed.
"Ever?!" he said with confusion in his voice. "Yes! EVER!" I replied, almost surprised at how he still didn't get it. "I didn't move a thousand miles away for us to stay in contact. So don't call me any more," I commanded.
At first I thought he might call to wish me a Happy New Year, but I had mixed emotions when he didn't. I was thankful at the thought that he might have finally gotten the message that I'm done, but also felt (thanks to my ego) that he at least owed me an "I'm sorry" for all the grief he'd caused me over the 8 years we lived in the same town. Over the last few weeks, my ego has thought about calling him, but that little voice of reason always convinced me not to by saying, "For what?! So you can give him another opportunity to insult you? So he can lie to you again about how much you mean to him? So he can back burner you again with promises of looking into visiting when it's convenient for him?! Just to let you down, yet again!"
In the last three weeks I've let the little voice win, and I'm thankful. It takes 21 days to form a new habit (or let go of an old one), and from here on out I'm going to feed the little voice when my ego is starving for attention. I have a feeling that if I do that, I'll be even more happy with myself 21 days later.
posted by N'j at 8:02 PM
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