Sigh.
Oh God. Oh God...Oh God! I so wanted to have sex last night!
I went dancing with Chris, Keisha, & a couple of her friends at some spot in IL. We were having a really good time when I spotted this cutie with smooth moves for a white boy. When I had my chance, I eased up on him and we started dancing. After a while, I slipped him a line, "You're a good dancer!" He took the hint and offered to buy me a drink. I accepted and he introduced me to his crew. In town for a wedding, they were all pretty wasted & he was as close to sober as he was to black (he's from Des Moines). His friends decided to catch a cab but he was liking the way my behind felt on his crotch, so he said, "F^ck 'em. Let's dance!" and back to the dance floor we went.
Not too much later, Chris popped up and did the whole dog pissing on territory thing that guys do when they see another dude fancying a chick they've at least mentally staked their claim on. The cutie told me he didn't want his @$ kicked & I reassured him that Chris is "just my brother". Cutie & I proceeded to make a scene out of the Promiscous video as Chris's friends raised eyebrows & wink winked at me from across the room.
"I could so take you home with me," I gush to the cutie. "Let's do it," the cutie replied. My panties were wet, we're halfway touching each other, but he's just wasn't giving me enough eye action for me to feel any connection other than physical. After additional grind & debate, he popped the question..."Should I catch a cab?" I seriously wanted to take the cutie home and ravage his 27 year old body. "You're not answering me," he said, slightly annoyed. "Hairy chest, nice lips, and with moves like that he has to be halfway good in bed," I thought to myself. "Alright, let's go," he said as he grabbed my hand and guided me to the front door. "Oh sh!t! He'll take charge too!" I was almost ready for a sex haze.
We got to the door & I said, "Wait! I have to take my brother home!" Ah yes, the chastity checker. "Forget him. He doesn't want to go with us." True. I didn't think Chris wanted to see me dragging some random white guy home knowing I was going to boink the guy instead of him. "Mmmm..." I moaned as the cutie gently kissed my neck & made his way to my mouth. Oh yeah, oh yeah! A good kisser too...Chris who? "C'mon, let's go," he said in an attempt at convincing me. Flashes of being held & kissed & boinking until I fell asleep flew through my mind. Then I remembered my sainthood.
"Let me go get my brother & then we'll go," I said. I needed a minute to think without the smell of his cologne clouding my neurons. He agreed and followed me back to the dance floor. I found Chris dancing with a group of Africans.
"Chris, let's go. I'm ready to go."
"Now? They haven't closed yet." Chris is accustomed to paryting Kenyan style, aka until the lights come on and you don't have to go home but...
"Yes. Let's go. That guy wants me to go home with him," I said eyeing Chris with hope of a sex haze in the morning.
"Well, do you want to go with him?" Chris openly asked.
"Well my body does but my spirit doesn't," I honestly replied. Chris pulled his fist down toward his side in the universal "Yes!" motion.
"Okay, let's stay. Hey guys, this is my sister. Watch over her." He pulled me into the center of the african dance circle & I was virtually in a no-sex fortress. The cutie eyed me from the sidelines and eventually gave up and left. Chris disappeared for a while but I later found him working on a trashy white girl, so I kept my distance.
Last call for alcohol
I made my way to the bar & got one more Heine hoping the buzz would balance out the hieny I could've been looking forward to. I sat at a table and watched Chris working his mojo on the trashy girl by showing her his passport. The bouncers swept us outside & I told Chris yet again that it was time to go. "Well, she's coming with us. You don't care, do you?"
"Oh no! That's your business," I said with as little concern as I could muster. They didn't seem to get the point that I was ready, so I started walking to the car knowing the little dog & his poodle would eventually follow. Sure enough, as I started the car they made their way toward the vehicle. So here I was driving back to [insert little town in IA here] with Chris in the passenger's seat & this curly haired poodle in the back...with no potential cookies for myself!
Well down the road, the poodle noticed that it was really really dark & we'd been driving for a really really long time. "Wow, this really is far," she said to Chris. "Well, if you can't drive, are you sure you're going to be able to get me back by 9 in the morning?" As funny as this was to hear coming from the 23 year old mind, I kept my mouth shut. I was certainly going to be sleeping in and I'd be damned if Chris pulled one over on me...I know Kenyans. Chris whipped out his cellphone & called someone who assured the poodle she'd have a ride in the morning. Now able to relax her mind, she started asking me questions.
"So do you have a visa too?"
"Oh, I was born in Jersey! My dad's from Kenya."
"How long have you guys been here?" she inquired.
Chris & I both paused with the whole "no you go first" aura hanging in the air. Finally I said, "You go first. You've been here longer." He told his story and then rolled into mine with, "Tell her how we met!" We then went back & forth in a verbal diarrea tango about our story. You'd've {I know it's not a word but I'm using it anyway} thought we'd been together forever if it hadn't been for his little poodle in the back seat. As I dropped them off at his place, the two pups got out & thanked me for the ride.
"Chris, you better enjoy this year of drinking & riding! Don't ever forget that I gave up some good @$$ for this!"
Sigh.
Now I've been left to wonder whether I really wanted to go home with Chris & that's why I sent the cutie away.
I went dancing with Chris, Keisha, & a couple of her friends at some spot in IL. We were having a really good time when I spotted this cutie with smooth moves for a white boy. When I had my chance, I eased up on him and we started dancing. After a while, I slipped him a line, "You're a good dancer!" He took the hint and offered to buy me a drink. I accepted and he introduced me to his crew. In town for a wedding, they were all pretty wasted & he was as close to sober as he was to black (he's from Des Moines). His friends decided to catch a cab but he was liking the way my behind felt on his crotch, so he said, "F^ck 'em. Let's dance!" and back to the dance floor we went.
Not too much later, Chris popped up and did the whole dog pissing on territory thing that guys do when they see another dude fancying a chick they've at least mentally staked their claim on. The cutie told me he didn't want his @$ kicked & I reassured him that Chris is "just my brother". Cutie & I proceeded to make a scene out of the Promiscous video as Chris's friends raised eyebrows & wink winked at me from across the room.
"I could so take you home with me," I gush to the cutie. "Let's do it," the cutie replied. My panties were wet, we're halfway touching each other, but he's just wasn't giving me enough eye action for me to feel any connection other than physical. After additional grind & debate, he popped the question..."Should I catch a cab?" I seriously wanted to take the cutie home and ravage his 27 year old body. "You're not answering me," he said, slightly annoyed. "Hairy chest, nice lips, and with moves like that he has to be halfway good in bed," I thought to myself. "Alright, let's go," he said as he grabbed my hand and guided me to the front door. "Oh sh!t! He'll take charge too!" I was almost ready for a sex haze.
We got to the door & I said, "Wait! I have to take my brother home!" Ah yes, the chastity checker. "Forget him. He doesn't want to go with us." True. I didn't think Chris wanted to see me dragging some random white guy home knowing I was going to boink the guy instead of him. "Mmmm..." I moaned as the cutie gently kissed my neck & made his way to my mouth. Oh yeah, oh yeah! A good kisser too...Chris who? "C'mon, let's go," he said in an attempt at convincing me. Flashes of being held & kissed & boinking until I fell asleep flew through my mind. Then I remembered my sainthood.
"Let me go get my brother & then we'll go," I said. I needed a minute to think without the smell of his cologne clouding my neurons. He agreed and followed me back to the dance floor. I found Chris dancing with a group of Africans.
"Chris, let's go. I'm ready to go."
"Now? They haven't closed yet." Chris is accustomed to paryting Kenyan style, aka until the lights come on and you don't have to go home but...
"Yes. Let's go. That guy wants me to go home with him," I said eyeing Chris with hope of a sex haze in the morning.
"Well, do you want to go with him?" Chris openly asked.
"Well my body does but my spirit doesn't," I honestly replied. Chris pulled his fist down toward his side in the universal "Yes!" motion.
"Okay, let's stay. Hey guys, this is my sister. Watch over her." He pulled me into the center of the african dance circle & I was virtually in a no-sex fortress. The cutie eyed me from the sidelines and eventually gave up and left. Chris disappeared for a while but I later found him working on a trashy white girl, so I kept my distance.
Last call for alcohol
I made my way to the bar & got one more Heine hoping the buzz would balance out the hieny I could've been looking forward to. I sat at a table and watched Chris working his mojo on the trashy girl by showing her his passport. The bouncers swept us outside & I told Chris yet again that it was time to go. "Well, she's coming with us. You don't care, do you?"
"Oh no! That's your business," I said with as little concern as I could muster. They didn't seem to get the point that I was ready, so I started walking to the car knowing the little dog & his poodle would eventually follow. Sure enough, as I started the car they made their way toward the vehicle. So here I was driving back to [insert little town in IA here] with Chris in the passenger's seat & this curly haired poodle in the back...with no potential cookies for myself!
Well down the road, the poodle noticed that it was really really dark & we'd been driving for a really really long time. "Wow, this really is far," she said to Chris. "Well, if you can't drive, are you sure you're going to be able to get me back by 9 in the morning?" As funny as this was to hear coming from the 23 year old mind, I kept my mouth shut. I was certainly going to be sleeping in and I'd be damned if Chris pulled one over on me...I know Kenyans. Chris whipped out his cellphone & called someone who assured the poodle she'd have a ride in the morning. Now able to relax her mind, she started asking me questions.
"So do you have a visa too?"
"Oh, I was born in Jersey! My dad's from Kenya."
"How long have you guys been here?" she inquired.
Chris & I both paused with the whole "no you go first" aura hanging in the air. Finally I said, "You go first. You've been here longer." He told his story and then rolled into mine with, "Tell her how we met!" We then went back & forth in a verbal diarrea tango about our story. You'd've {I know it's not a word but I'm using it anyway} thought we'd been together forever if it hadn't been for his little poodle in the back seat. As I dropped them off at his place, the two pups got out & thanked me for the ride.
"Chris, you better enjoy this year of drinking & riding! Don't ever forget that I gave up some good @$$ for this!"
Sigh.
Now I've been left to wonder whether I really wanted to go home with Chris & that's why I sent the cutie away.
posted by N'j at 10:27 AM
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