Without Water
I got a call this morning from the local YMCA. I'd signed Shorty up for a teen camp (am I really the mother of a teenager?!), but when we arrived last week I was informed that it had been canceled. This left me in a bit of a bind since I don't know anyone here to help with Kidlet (should I change that to Teenlet?) , so I put him on the waiting list for the tween group (er go the call this morning). By Saturday morning, I knew I needed to change his ticket to Cali from the 22nd to the 8th since prices were going up by the minute and I wasn't sure he'd get the spot. I booked his flight and sent my ex a text on Monday when it finally crossed my mind that he didn't know about the change in plans. That opened up a whole bottle of pills which was held down by a flurry of not so nice text messages.
Essentially, he was insistent that plans stay as they were originally scheduled with Shorty arriving on the 22nd. I ignored him since I knew the airlines would be looking for him & not me when Kidlet arrives on Saturday. When he sent another text saying, "It was very inconsiderate of you to do this without talking to me first. I can not alter my schedule this time..." followed with violins, a swan song, whoa is me, and the ridiculous, "Plans will just have to stay as they are..." I knew it was time to pull the cotton out of the bottle & just take the f*cking pill. I sent him a white flag message: "I think there's been a misunderstanding. Let's talk when you have time." I decided to be the adult (once again).
He eventually cooled off and sent me a text the next day stating that he'd call that evening. I put the pill on my tongue when his name popped up on the caller ID (I'm practicing my management skills already). I gave him the background of the situation and let him know that this change in plans wasn't a malicious act to upset his life. I told him that I understood how he felt, but that I had to make a quick decision which didn't allow time to talk to him without incurring a significant increase in cost or risk leaving Shorty alone in a new place all day for two weeks which I didn't think was a good idea. He again expressed that he wished I had talked to him a little sooner so he could've prepared & I again played the good manager, "I understand exactly how you feel. I would feel the same way." I'd even convinced myself to care for those few minutes. I then talked him through potential solutions to his problem and he said he'd call me back in an hour. Miraculously, he called back 20 minutes later with amazing answers to all those issues that had previously impeded him from being able to change his plans before the talk.
It's stupefying how a little honey makes bullshit taste good enough to swallow. Still, it turns my stomach that I've had to swallow so many hard, nasty pills without water to get this half-child to do what he should be doing on his own...take responsibility for his child. It doesn't help that I continue supporting him indirectly because he refuses to send one penny more than what the government takes from his checks for child support (all $230/month) and has creatively found ways to stop all attempts at a review for an increase in child support. I wish I had a bottle of Blink-Be-Gone...take one then the jack@$$ & all memories of him disappear! That's one pill I'd swallow without water any day.
Essentially, he was insistent that plans stay as they were originally scheduled with Shorty arriving on the 22nd. I ignored him since I knew the airlines would be looking for him & not me when Kidlet arrives on Saturday. When he sent another text saying, "It was very inconsiderate of you to do this without talking to me first. I can not alter my schedule this time..." followed with violins, a swan song, whoa is me, and the ridiculous, "Plans will just have to stay as they are..." I knew it was time to pull the cotton out of the bottle & just take the f*cking pill. I sent him a white flag message: "I think there's been a misunderstanding. Let's talk when you have time." I decided to be the adult (once again).
He eventually cooled off and sent me a text the next day stating that he'd call that evening. I put the pill on my tongue when his name popped up on the caller ID (I'm practicing my management skills already). I gave him the background of the situation and let him know that this change in plans wasn't a malicious act to upset his life. I told him that I understood how he felt, but that I had to make a quick decision which didn't allow time to talk to him without incurring a significant increase in cost or risk leaving Shorty alone in a new place all day for two weeks which I didn't think was a good idea. He again expressed that he wished I had talked to him a little sooner so he could've prepared & I again played the good manager, "I understand exactly how you feel. I would feel the same way." I'd even convinced myself to care for those few minutes. I then talked him through potential solutions to his problem and he said he'd call me back in an hour. Miraculously, he called back 20 minutes later with amazing answers to all those issues that had previously impeded him from being able to change his plans before the talk.
It's stupefying how a little honey makes bullshit taste good enough to swallow. Still, it turns my stomach that I've had to swallow so many hard, nasty pills without water to get this half-child to do what he should be doing on his own...take responsibility for his child. It doesn't help that I continue supporting him indirectly because he refuses to send one penny more than what the government takes from his checks for child support (all $230/month) and has creatively found ways to stop all attempts at a review for an increase in child support. I wish I had a bottle of Blink-Be-Gone...take one then the jack@$$ & all memories of him disappear! That's one pill I'd swallow without water any day.
posted by N'j at 10:58 AM
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